I Fell for A Married Man

I almost forgot to upload a post today, but the good Lord saved me. I got carried away because I'm helping a friend with flyers for his business and I cooked a bunch of food, but anyways...moving on. Let's giddy!
My people oh!!! Come see wahala. The devil is a liar. Your girl fell for a married man. Tufiakwa! So...here is how the story goes. My friends and I went out of town for a 'girls weekend'. We turned up for real and had an absolute blast. Whoop whoop! We went to a night club that one of my friends had recommended. He kept on introducing me to different people that night and wanted to get my name out to some people in the promoting/ entertainment business out there. What a sweetheart! We were on the way out when he introduced me to this one guy. I joked around with him for a bit before he offered me a seat, suya and drinks. My friends and I liked his vibe and we definitely reconsidered our exit from the club. We exchanged numbers. He was a darling all night long and told us that next time we came into town, we should let him know.
The next morning, one of my friends who was super drunk from the night before had something to tell me. I was all ears. She said that the man we met from last night had asked her about me and she told him that I was single. She then said that he told her that he would have hit on me if he wasn't married. I didn't have any feelings for the guy. I only saw him as a friend, so I had no worries right? Little did I know what was to come. Lol. Make I continue joor.
Some over-sabis would say I was looking for trouble, but just pay attention first. I'm not a home wrecker, ashawo, side chick, main bitch, left or right chick or husband snatcher! We didn't speak so much on the phone, but when we did, we engaged in conversations in a very paddy-like manner. We were quite local when engaging in conversations.  I was very careful when I spoke to this man and clearly respected my boundaries. After a while, my friends and I had established a "friendship" with him. We all spoke with him and referred to him as a brother.
I did just as he said, I let him know the next time we were in town. Before we were all about to go out, my friend said she wanted to bring something to my attention again. I was open to listen to whatever she was about to say. What would be so important to discuss on this trip now? She said that she honestly wasn't sure if that man was married anymore. I was surprised. I had never brought up this topic with him. As I said, we rarely spoke on the phone and he never mentioned that he was married. I was confused. She said that the night that we met him, another man had also come up to her asking about my relationship status. She reminded me that she was highly intoxicated that night and she didn't think that the guy we now all took as a "brother" was the married one. None of us saw a ring on his either of his hands and he clearly didn't act married. I was surprised, but believed her because she was very drunk that night.
After a few days during our trip, we were supposed to meet up with this man at a club. All of a sudden, I found myself developing feelings for him earlier that day. My people come see wahala! How am I falling for my brother? I began to consider a number of things. He was extra caring when it came to me, helped me get out of a stank mood the day before and for some reason I began to see him being a part of my future. Don't ask me what happened, but I did a whole 360 degrees shake around him. My sister and friends were ecstatic for me. They wanted to see a relationship between this guy and I work at all costs. We were very happy to see him when we went out. We had a great time that night and I even flirted a little with him. I didn't want to seem too forward nah!
I was so angry when our trip was over because I enjoyed being out of my city and I wanted to spend more time with him. We texted a few times but I didn't get a chance to talk to him on the phone since I had been back. My sister told me to call him, I was skeptical about it. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying too hard. I did though, but he didn't pick up. I was sad. I ended up going to a housewarming and found myself talking about him to my other girlfriends. They kept on telling me to call him. I was so damn shy! I was literally getting butterflies in my stomach from talking about him. As we were talking about him, he called back. I was so nervous, I couldn't answer the phone. One of my friends tried to answer the phone, but didn't know how to use it because it was connected to the bluetooth. Lol. I was WAY too shy to call him back, so I let my friend text him for me because I wasn't even bold enough to do that. He had gone out with his friends, so his responses were inconsistent. My friend told me to call him tomorrow. They all told me to make sure that this man wasn't married before I fell deeply for him as my body dry shake already. Too late!
The next day he responded. He apologized for not being able to respond to the last text that I had sent. I called him a few hours later when I woke up from my nap. We talked for two hours! Boy was i happy! That was the longest time that we have ever been on the phone, even he was surprised. We were stylishly flirting, talking about our lives, the next time I was going to come into town etc. I was blushing oh! We were learning so much about each other. Out of nowhere, the blue moon, the random backyard bush, mama put's kitchen!!! He blurted out "You know that I'm married right?" Walaahi, I almost lost it. Omo see disappointment! My friends had warned me. I told him "No, you did not. That's cute." I asked him a few questions and he answered them. He told me that he had been married for three years. Omo, see slap in the face! He never thought that he would marry a Nigerian, but he ended up marrying an Igbo woman. The fear wey catch me was like no other! Igbo woman in wrapper, dibia and curses coming upon me was all I could think of.
We finished off our conversation, but I wasn't disrespectful and didn't cut him off. Some of you may be like "Babe, you should have cussed him out and made him go chat with his wife", but I couldn't do that. As I stated earlier, apart from being attracted to each other, I was building a different bond with him that involved other people. My sister and friends had a family-like relationship with him. We had known him for a short time, but we grew to appreciate one another and had become a apart of each other's lives in a very odd manner that you wouldn't expect. I don't even know how to explain it. I was just thankful that none of us verbally came out and said that "we liked each other". We flirted in a subtle but yet apparent manner, but no one was aggressive when trying to get their point across.
I don't fall easily for guys all the time, but when I do, I fall hard! It's so embarrassing! My sister is embarrassed for me. Lol. I now have to work on getting over him over the next few weeks and embracing my reality. He is a married man and I have to accept the fact that nothing can ever happen between us. He was almost the perfect man, but, is there really any such thing? I should have known something was wrong. It sucks, but I'm not a home wrecker, ashawo, side chick, main bitch, left or right chick or husband snatcher! Make I go chop jare. Pray for your sister.

The Art Of Gift Giving

I don't know about yal, but I love my birthday!!! I love my birthday to the point that I want it to be a national holiday one day. Won't yal just love that? An extra day to kick it back at home and celebrate Nikolai? Lol. You should be grateful and thank God for every extra year you get to see because some people don't always make it to the next.
I have always been a firm believer of the art of gift giving. I give gifts that are actually related to someone's likes, preferences and wants. I study people's personalities to know what kind of a gift to give. I give gifts that 'actually' make sense! They are beneficial to each individual depending on what I have learnt about them before their birthday. The worst thing to do is spend money on a gift that someone won't like and they keep it stored in the back of their closet and mind.
My birthday is coming up in the month of December and people have already started giving me gifts. They've been asking me what I want and I find myself actually knowing what I want for the first time in years. One of my very close friends at this time asked me what I wanted. There were two shoes I saw online and even managed to get an awesome coupon code for them. I told her exactly what I wanted and provided the link. She told me would get it. She was having issues logging into the website from her phone, so she said she would place the order from her laptop.
A few days had passed and we were at a housewarming event. She told me that she still couldn't log into the website from her phone. I was in the process of trying to help her when she told me that I could only pick one of the shoes. To God who made me, I was taken aback. I looked at her and told her she was kidding because I just couldn't fathom the idea that she was being serious. Out of all the gifts I want this year for my birthday, I gave her the CHEAPEST one to buy! In my head, I was seriously wondering how much she thought I spent on her birthday gifts. I'm not trying to be ungrateful or insensitive, but common! I carefully selected gifts based on what I knew she wanted and needed to develop skills in. She didn't even know I was getting her a gift because I barely knew her before her birthday came up. Now, she asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told her and she was practically forcing me to choose one. Wtf? I LITERALLY gave the CHEAPEST of all gifts to get me and she has a problem??? Nna men....I hate that shit. I won't even bring it up again because it's pointless. You may think "Oh, maybe she is going through financial matters", but that clearly isn't the case in this matter as she has been spending her cash money and telling me about it. A 'true friend' should never do that to another friend.
Anyways...I really think that I have finally learnt my lesson. People always tell me that I give very good gifts that I won't receive back, but I take people's birthdays very seriously. It is a moment that will be remembered forever and I feel that I should do whatever I can to make it memorable. Listen to me NOW when I say that I will no longer combine gifts for people. I will give one gift at a moderate price starting from today. There is only one girl who has ever given me multiple sentimental gifts on my birthday because she tries to keep gift giving fun. I will keep my bond with her that way, but for others, no more. I have received enough insult from the gifts I have received and I don't need anymore. Good riddance amigos!

Guess Who's Back???

Hey bees!
I'm back!!! I have definitely been going through an emotional rollercoaster these past few months and have honestly had several moments when I wanted to just throw in the towel. I just wanted to give up sometimes because I felt that there's no point to continue. It sounds sad, humiliating and shocking, but I need to be truthful and pour my heart out. My love life, personal relationships and daily behavior has been an absolute mess. I can't tell the man I have developed feelings for that I like him because I'm afraid it will affect our friendship. I am constantly reminded that "true friends" are hard to find and I need to work on my finding ways to better myself as a human being.
It's funny how someone can look a certain way on the exterior, but feel completely different in the interior. I almost feel as if I have been living a lie and painting a false image of who I am to people. It's time for a change. I've giving up on living a lie.
I was praying earlier today and I thought for a sec "What ever happened to my blog?" "What ever happened to the real me?" "Am I just a weakling?" I have been asking God for a sign and I think he is trying to show me what I have been depriving myself of; true happiness, personal goals/ objectives and a peaceful state of mind. It has to stop. I have to stop.
Over the next few weeks, I'm going to continue to share my life experiences with you all as I did in the past while focusing on my thoughts, emotions and real life happenings. Hopefully with me being more open with you guys, you will be more comfortable with me to ask questions related to my daily experiences. I'm going to try and write a post everyday this week. #7DayChallenge. Yal deserve it, I deserve it. I am no longer afraid.

Asking For Favors

If there is one thing I have learnt in my 23 years of living, it is to limit the amount of favors I ask for. The smallest favor could be turned into the biggest matter in the world. Those you consider your friends and family can deal with you within the glimpse of an eye. They will be quick to turn on you for a favor. They will find every reason to suggest that what your asking for is beyond their means and make up the most ridiculous excuses. You sef will begin to wonder if what you're asking for help for is a rocket to reach Saturn. 
Even though I use the term 'friend' loosely, a lot of people I associate with are my 'acquaintances'. We will go out, we will jolly, but they will still remain an acquaintance. A true friend is a gift from God. A lot of people love to see you beg, plead and ask for favors and assistance in this world. It butters them up to know that others have a certain need and requirement for their help and will use it to their advantage. I advise you all to always shine in whatever it is your heart tells you to do and follow your dreams. Try to keep pushing as far as you can before you open your mouth and ask one single human for a favor. At times, we think certain things are unattainable, when we are just to blind to see the unlocked door of opportunities staring at us and waiting for it's knob to be turned.

Rebuilding Friendships and Moving Forward

Yesterday, I sat down with two people whom I once knew to be my true friends during a certain point in time. One's a guy and the other's a girl. We had a falling out over three months ago and just began speaking recently. I asked to meet up with them because I wanted us to hash out our differences and have a fresh start for the beginning of our new chapter together.
I did this because I noticed that the guy actually began to make an effort by acknowledging me at gatherings and events in our Nigerian community. He would greet and hug me whenever he saw me. I was initially quite resistant, but later appreciated his continuous effort. The girl on the other hand didn't. She would just walk by and say nothing at all whenever we saw.
We all started talking again because her birthday was near approaching and I wanted to get her a gift. She had given me a gift on my birthday last year, so I had to return the favor. I just thought that was the right thing to do. I got her a makeup goody bag and she loved it. She couldn't even believe that I bought her a gift since we hadn't spoken in such a long time. Ever since then, we have been staying in touch with one another.
I thank God for the conversation we had because we were able to clear the air after our discussion. I was angry and highly disappointed with them because they were very discreet when I was planning a joint birthday party for my sister and our mutual friend earlier on this year. The day that I needed them to help me out the most was the day they literally abandoned me. They came super late to the event and acted as if they had the right to do as they pleased. I was furious at the event and chose to completely disregard them. People who I had faith in and considered family became strangers in a matter of seconds.
I realized during our meeting that the main issue with a lot of relationships and friendships is a lack of communication. They said that there were several things during the planning process that were lost in translation on the event day. They weren't sure of what to do or how to help. I found that odd because I had expressed myself thoroughly to all prior to the event celebration and didn't want to step on any toes. They thought that I was taking the planning too seriously and I didn't want to offend anyone else. Instead, they said that they were looking for more of a sense of direction that I didn't properly offer. Nawa oh! Boy was I shocked? Hadn't I tried to do that before? Didn't they have multiple issues with it? Ok oh. I was still glad that I was able to hear their point of views.
After our conversation, everything kind of fell back into place. We began gisting as usual and even began planning our next trip. It was a good night and I'm happy that we're working on rebuilding our friendship. It may be hard to fully trust them immediately, but I will take each day one step at a time.

Retail Theraphy

So...there was this guy that I was talking to for a while but we have parted ways. I took a liking to him immediately, but I can see now that we are on two completely different pages. Ever since we stopped talking, I find myself buying things at any chance I get. Online shopping is the worst! As in...one minute I'm browsing, the next, something is in my shopping cart. The next, my debit card gets pulled out and I have purchased numerous products! I stare as my card is constantly being swiped or my fingers punching in its digits on a computer like I'm some sort of money machine.
The worst part is I don't even have money like that, but I'm just continuously spending. For some reason, I feel that the items I'm purchasing are necessities and I need them now or never. I've had this shopping problem before in the past, but it has never been this bad. I haven't experienced it like this in a very long while. I think I'm using this to escape the current situation I'm in called 'my reality'. The only wahala is that I don't think its working. I've began to try my best to keep the guy off my mind and focus on the business of buying and selling. Hahaha..Buying and selling ke? Na just buying I dey succeed in.
Thank God for return policies! I'm going to go through the items that I've bought and try to return some back. I think I'll keep the groceries. If you see the madness that has been my life recently, you won't even believe I'm normal. I'm even too scared to look at my current account balance. #ShameOnMe. My retail therapy has definitely helped keep me occupied and almost cleared out my bank account. God forbid bad thing! I need to get a grip of myself. I am turning a new leaf today my brothers and sisters.

Letter to Debo

Never in my life did I think it would be this hard to get over you
You came into my life and swept me off my feet
I couldn't believe it
So I chose to ignore it in the beginning
We only met a few times
But I felt as though we connected on a different level I hadn't experienced before
Believe it or not, I couldn't stop talking about you
It was unreal and I couldn't understand why
The way you called my name
The cars you sent me
Your condo
Our jokes
And even your Ray Ban glasses, which I found extremely cute
But most importantly, the way you made me feel
All these things were nice, but it couldn't make up for my time with you
From the first day I met you, I fell for you

People say it was just a materialistic fling, but it was more than that with you
They called you my Mr. Grey
I called your my Mr. Stay
I patiently waited for the day that I would be called your girlfriend
We had our ups and downs but I still felt you were mine
Nothing was going to stop that
You tried to rush into sex
But, I wanted more than that
I wanted us to evolve together
To build a future together
That day never came

My family and friends told me that you weren't good for me
They saw me cry, hurt and depressed when you wouldn't treat me right
I would still cover for you
Make a hundred and one excuses because I didn't want you to slip away
I gave you chance after chance, until I couldn't anymore

I now find out through my sister that you're seeing one of my friends
But you have no idea
You met her at a party I was supposed to attend when I left town for a wedding
She doesn't know about us
What we had before you brought her into your life
She talks to my sister about you constantly
She's fallen for you just as I had
And she still doesn't know about us
I can't bring myself to tell her
How do you think that makes me feel?
All that keeps racing through my mind is what would have happened if I was there
Would we have been back together?
Day after day, I ask myself this

This is one of the hardest issues I've ever had to face in my life
That's why I decided to write you this letter
I have to set myself free from you
I need to get you out of my thoughts, dreams and entire being
You have consumed my life
I barely do a thing because I'm still so focused on us and what should have been
I talk about you to others as if I'm obsessed with you
They've listened to me multiple times and have tried to help me
They no longer know what to do
It's been three weeks
You haven't texted or called
I guess I'm pretty irrelevant in your life now right?

I can't keep on beating myself down anymore
So, I have to help myself
I have to let go
I have to erase you from my mind completely so I can move on
But, what hurts the most
Is that you never knew
This is how I truly felt about you

If I would have spread my legs, would you still be mine?

Debo

I'm Now An Aunty!!!

One of my best friends (Cristal) finally popped on Saturday August 8th!!! She gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl called Majesti! This was her first pregnancy, so it was definitely an emotional, stressful and beautiful experience. Her due date was supposed to be September 4th, but she had to go through an emergency C-section due to their health.
I was incredibly sad that I missed her baby shower on August 2nd because I was out of town for  a wedding. I made sure to send my gifts in advance though and she loved all of them. She had pre-opened them before the shower, but she reopened them again for the full effect. Lol.

Cristal at her baby shower

She made that gorgeous tutu! We both love tutus!!!

Cristal looking at Majesti for the very first time. She used the zebra wrap which was one of my gifts!

Princess Majesti

Summer Movement

You guys!!!!
I have been so damn lazy...it's unbelievable. I have been waking up these past few weeks, forgetting to pray, not dedicating proper time to write and ignoring this my blog #Shameful. I have definitely been busy this summer oh and I must update una.
The Nigerian community where I stay isn't very large, but we always enjoy spending time with each other (especially during this summer). Some of the Nigerians were either shy, too pompous or just out of character in the past. This summer has brought all of us together and we find ourselves doing something almost every week together.
We also have started an uncontrollable selfie madness addiction that has become the highlight of our gatherings. We look for where in the room we can possibly get the best #Light and take over 100 photos. Lol. It sounds absolutely ridiculous. Even our phone memories can't take it anymore. Here are a few photos from our escapades.

Birthday Party- Petrus' House Party

My sister and I got a bunch of people together for Petrus' birthday party. I played DJ of the night with my Bluetooth speaker and playlist. This was when the selfie madness started. We found one lamp like that in his place and just couldn't stop posing. Lights, camera, action biko!

Birthday Party- Kazi's Pajama Party

After we had such a blast at Petrus' house for his birthday, Kazi wanted to have another night of madness for his birthday. I came up with the idea that it should be a pajama party. Some of us dressed appropriately for the occasion, while others *cough cough*. They ordered a bunch more food this time around and we even had goat pepper soup #Winning

Birthday Outing- Precious and Aminat's Movie Night

I'm really not a movie person at all! But, I had to make an exception for the celebrants. They wanted to watch Mission Impossible. I was surprised that I actually stayed awake for most of it. I fell asleep towards the end. No one wants to tell me what happened because they say I was too lazy to stay awake. Lol.

My sister took a photo of me sleeping. We were already loud in the movie theater (being Nigerians of course) and she was acting out. One man couldn't tolerate it anymore and started yelling. It was funny, but we took this as a note to respect ourselves in public some more. 

Walaahi, I thought we would be slapped!

Girls Night Out

Some of the crew went to New Jersey for the Umu Igbo Unite Convention. I don't know how, but I completely forgot about this convention. I had been looking forward to it since the beginning of the year and it just slipped my mind because I had planned to go on another trip (photos coming soon). Anyways...those that went kept on updating us with pictures and stories on our group chat. 

Due to jealousy (lol), the girls and I decided to go out to a reggae club. I love reggae clubs so I was down. We were there for two hours and some girls couldn't take the smell of the ganja anymore. I don't smoke, but I'm quite used to it in clubs. Some of them even started choking, so that was the hint to say bye bye! We had a blast though.

Dr. Earnest's Graduation Party

You guys! My weekend is still not over. I have been hopping from one event to the other like my legs can't maintain one position. As in...Jesuit! I'm even going to another party tonight that I helped put together.
Dr. Earnest celebrated getting his doctorate degree last Saturday and it was definitely a big turnout. I hadn't seen some faces in a while and it was so much fun to catch up. My sister and I were supposed to wear matching African kente shirts that we got from our friend, but they ended up being too big. He warned us, but we didn't listen. Lol. She had a backup plan, but I surely didn't. As a result, we got to the event that began at 9pm at midnight. We are known as #OfficialLatecomers in the Naija community here. Lol. We need to seriously work on our African time though.
We danced the night away to the point that I'm still in pain till today! As in, I have been downing ibuprofen like no other. The gbedu was so serious that I took off my heels and was busting makossa moves on the dance floor. Talk about keeping it classy. Lol! My thighs, back and legs are still hurting.

My last minute outfit. I think I did pretty good! I've been wearing a lot of black lately and rocking bolder accessories.

These uncles were out of character. Flashing money and telling my sister and I to stop taking pictures with guys who don't make enough money. Lol! They were hilarious.

Mr. Bello is always cracking us up!

N-K Entertainment ushers rocking my shirts

Jason (to the left) just got back into town. It was great seeing him

Ebele (to the right) and I were sweating like crazy after murdering the dance floor. Thanks to the brilliant quality of the iPhone, you can't even tell!

This Girl Wan Spoil My Name

Make una hear this tory oh. Someone asked me to help them find a staff member for a particular event. I of course accepted to be of assistance to her. The lady had been very nice to me so far and I wanted to do whatever I could to help. I asked several people I know if they were available for the days she requested a staff member for. One girl that I just rekindled with told me she was available. She and I hadn't talked for two years because I chose to distance myself away from her. I did this because she's fond of broadcasting your personal information to people who have no business in your affairs and snobbishly talks about her achievements without caring about those around her. I applaud all her efforts for progress, but that doesn't mean she should show it off in front of people who aren't as fortuned as she is.
Another guy also said he would be available. It was only right that I offered the position to the girl who responded first. She also told me that she needed as much money as possible at this point in time to take care of some personal matters. I passed along all her information to event lady. She booked her, had a conference call with her and I even gave her the designated package required for the job. On the day of the event, I got a call as I was getting out of the shower. It was almost 2pm (Yes. I slept late. Don't judge me). It was from the event lady's company. The man on the phone said that the girl I recommended never showed up and refused to answer her calls. I was stunned! He said that his client was furious and they needed the position filled immediately. I sincerely apologized and assured him that I would quickly find a replacement. I called her five times. She let it ring twice and sent me to voicemail three times. I eventually got the position filled and the man was happy that I was able to handle the issue at hand. I felt that it would only be right to find someone else as the girl who was initially scheduled didn't show up.
Around 9.30pm, I was texting one of my friends on WhatsApp. I got a random call from that girl. I refused to pick up. She sent a text telling me that she kept on calling the event lady and that she never answered her. She said that she got a flat tire and her phone had died.
Now, this is where I have a problem. She NEVER apologized for her actions. Yes, she had a valid reason, but what about a common 'Sorry'? Instead she told me to let the lady know about what happened and that she made efforts to call her. It's funny to me that she said this and the company told me she never picked up their calls. Its obvious that she's a liar. Secondly, she knew that I had vouched for her to the lady to get booked for the position. They're were various people ready to work the job and she accepted it. I talked about her good work ethic and communication skills. It's clearly obvious that she lacks that. By the way, she forgot that she told me that her mother was coming into town today. Funny. She's a comedian and she doesn't know. Thirdly, I have said it before and I will say it again. Flat tire, broken window or whatever it is, if you are scheduled to work an event or regular job, YOU MUST INFORM your boss/ staffer about whatever issues you encounter on the way to work IMMEDIATELY. Don't do the dumb thing of not letting them know and ignoring their phone calls or sending it to voicemail because it makes you look bad. You look disrespectful and unserious. You will never be their first choice, probably won't considered for another position again or just get fired. If you don't know, know today!

Why Are You Doing This Mr. May D???

I was supposed to discuss this matter a while ago. Woju by Kiss Daniel is one of my #TopSongsOfLife, so I was beyond excited when I heard that May D had a remix out. I've always loved May D, but I don't understand what those two things dangling from his head are.
I didn't know it would be one of the most stupid remixes and songs I have ever heard in my life. Not only were the nasty things he was saying useless, but it was obvious that he didn't know what he was vomiting from his mouth. As in, before the first verse finished, I just closed out the whole song. What kind of insult is this to Woju??? Check it out for yourself and tell me what you think.

May D- Gboko (Woju Remix Explicit)

Naija Babe Behavior 101

LOL! This is honestly one of my favorite memes! This is not only applicable to Lagos girls, but this is full-on Naija babe behavior 101. I am guilty as charged my people! This nothing to be proud about, but it's just what it is. I'll share some of my experiences with you. Keep on reading if your eyes are looking for correct gist to come your way.

4. I'm on my period

There was this one FINE Jamaican man I used to talk to. Kai! He was fine, but he was just too fast. So many people warned me that he would try to do too much too soon, but I didn't want to listen because I would melt whenever I looked at him. His face, body and accent was just too good to be true. One day like this, he picked me up and we were chillaxing. Next thing you know oh... he started to try and go inside my everything. I was like "Ah ah..calm down nah!" He started telling me that there was another girl that he just has sex with but he didn't like her. He mentioned that she was just a casual acquaintance for when times got rough and he was 'in need'. BTW... I was not disturbed by this because this was only our third time seeing each other. We weren't exclusive, so I wasn't offended. He proceeded to say that he wanted a 'real' relationship with me. He said that he felt that I was the right one for him and he wanted to use this opportunity to have sex with me and build something from there. #LWKMD. This boy thought he had found mugu oh! 

I told him that I was on my period. He said that didn't matter. Chai!!! Omo, see hunger! I told him that I wasn't interested in engaging in sexual intercourse with him at that time and he should just forget about it. He asked "Will you eventually have sex with me?" I said "To be honest, no. But you can continue to have the other lady satisfy your needs. I'm fine with where we are". I think you know what happened next. That was the end of all communication between us!

6. I don't love you because of your money

I have never directly said this, but I have insinuated it many times. I had a scenario that occurred in relation to this topic not too long ago. I met this guy who is really well developed (as far as his bank account is concerned). He offered to take me out several times, but it just never worked out due to our schedules.  I would always try to come across as the strong, single independent chick that I am nah and act a if I didn't pay attention to his occupation. Na lie oh! During one of my visits to his place, he said that he had to get ready for a meeting. I was like sure no problem, let me just call a cab and start heading out. He said "Don't worry about that. I will always take care of your ride for you." Chai, see blessings! I said "Oh baby...thank you. I wasn't expecting this from you. You know it's not a problem for me, but if you insist. No problem." With all the paper we dey enter his hand, he better insist! All jokes aside, I really did like him. His money was just a plus.

7. He is just a friend

One time like this eh, I went to Houston and met a roll call of guys. As in...the babe was hot! I was talking to this one guy in the club one night like this. I then saw another guy that was trying to get my attention the night before and we greeted. The other guy was like "Who is that?". I said "Oh...he's just a friend" and shined my teeth wella wella!

8. I love you too

There was this guy I met through a mutual friend in Atlanta a year ago. He and I talked over the phone for 4 months! (The longest phone relationship I have ever had!). He was a SUPER darling and truly won my heart over that period of time. He caught feelings for me very quickly and I found myself doing so as well. The only thing that kind of scared me small was that he began saying those three dangerous words "I love you" within one month into this phone relationship. He said it A LOT and texted it several times. I never could text it back, but there came a time over the phone when he asked me to say it back. I didn't want to, but I practically felt as if I was being forced. I had to squeeze my mouth to the side and say it. I couldn't say it again though. Love is now taking it to a whole other level and I wasn't ready for that just yet. He was truly a sweetheart though. I felt as though he was the right guy who came at the wrong time.

My people, I don't condone any of this behavior. You have to be careful with whoever you're romantically/ sexually dealing with. I've made some mistakes and taken the wrong decisions when it comes to dating in my life, but I don't plan on repeating them. If you've had any of such experiences, feel free to let me know of them down below.

Kofi Got Me A Kente Purse and Eating Out Solo

Yal...I have been DREAMING of the day that I would get a kente purse and the day finally came on Thursday, July 16th! My best Ghanaian guy friend, Kofi came back from his trip from Ghana and brought me a purse! It's absolutely stunning!
His mother passed away earlier on this year and he went to Ghana for her funeral. He had been gone for over 3 months and I was super happy to welcome him on his first day back in town. I tried to organize a get together for him before he left, but our schedules kept on fighting each other. Not only did he return, but he came with gifts! Walaahi, I love this guy! We were supposed to go out for dinner, but instead, my sister and I brought dinner over to him. He was so grateful and appreciative. My dear Kofi is going to be getting married in December (my birthday month), but I unfortunately won't be able to make it :( His wife will be blessed! It shall be a blessed union.
I wore the purse for the first time yesterday when I went for lunch. I was supposed to go with a girlfriend, but she ended up canceling last minute due to family issues and a lot of unpacking madness in her new place. After placing my order at the restaurant, we chatted during my whole time there. I basically had lunch with her over the phone (Lol...never done that before, but it was fun and felt kinda normal). It was my first time eating in such a public place by myself, but I had to encourage myself to do it. A lot of people will judge me and ask "Is she a baby? Why can't she be out by herself?" I don't care! I'm just not used to it. I always eat out or go to majority of places with others. It was different, but I throughly enjoyed myself. As well, nothing was going to stop me today from eating the absolutely delicious crawfish pasta I had set my mind on today. I hadn't had it in over 5 months! Just gaze at the picture below and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

My kente purse

I just left it sitting on the table so everyone could get cultured as they stared at it

That pasta though!!!!

Boredom = Blue Lagoon MakeUp Look

You guys...I was super bored today. I felt absolutely depressed, lonely and upset because one yeye boy like this got back into town and didn't text me. I told him I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it over to his side on the day he got back from his trip, but... how is that an excuse to not text me? We talked yesterday and all seemed fine, so I didn't understand what was wrong.
As in...if you had seen me today, you would have felt sorry for me. I was just laying on the couch all day like I had been beaten by school master. I was checking my phone constantly to see if it was on silent, if one of my numerous notifications was a message from him and questioning if I should text him first. I was thoroughly confused.
I waited for my sister Ify to come back and I told her how I felt. I was literally sulking! She has warned me times without number not to have expectations from guys up until I feel it's getting to be a serious relationship. After listening to my woes, Ify asked me "Is he your boyfriend?". I said "No...but...". She then told me to shut up and let her use her laptop in peace. She proceeded to walk into her room and left me in the parlor. Laughing Out Loud! S/O to the one and only IfyBaebi! I really needed to hear such harsh words because it had become highly embarrassing. I told myself that I wouldn't allow that guy to ruin my entire 24hrs today. I got up, created the Blue Lagoon Makeup Look, took a shower, groomed myself some and called it a night. Not only do I feel 'clean' as I write this post, but I also feel relieved!
What do you guys think of this makeup look? I was going for something super dramatic and edgy. I used a turquoise gel liner from Kleancolor and matte blue lippie from Ruby Kisses. My aunty hates this lipstick and would rather not comment. I didn't ask for insults oh...just casual opinions. Hahahaaha

No Play Means No Kilishi

For those of you who aren't familiar with kilishi, it's thinly sliced pieces of beef that have been seasoned with peppery spices. I want to make it clear to any and every man, that The way to my heart is honestly with KILISHI! I don't necessarily like suya, but kilishi is my weakness. Suya is basically like kebab meat; its chunks of beef that are seasoned with peppery spices and onions.
Story story...story! There's one guy who stays in the same city as I'm in and claims to have been chasing me for the longest time. The day he found out that I'm obsessed with kilishi more than man, was one of the happiest days of his life. Sometimes we don't talk for a month, but once he says he has kilishi I am on the phone with him 24/7.
Our relationship has been nothing more than a friendhship since day 1, but now he is saying it has been something else and I'm denying it. Lol. Since when? His friend came into town from Nigeria and brought a box of kilishi (God have mercy). When he told me that his friend was coming, I reminded him to save me some as always. I thought he would do so, but that wasn't the case this time around. I met up with him and his friend for a little bit and he was completely out of character. He kept on saying "You know what you have to do nah. Ah ah...why are you behaving like this? You know you like me like I like you." Like who??? My brothers and sisters, when did I ever say that this boy is the apple of my eye? When did I ever say that he is my partner? Omo, see wahala!
I even invited him to the parties that I went to this weekend and he said that he will only come if I stop doing my 'shakara'. I asked him what he was talking about and he said I'm always doing shakara for him. This is someone I invite to all Naija parties oh! We go there as friends and leave as friends. He said that as long as I don't go about talking to other guys and spend time with him, he will come and give me kilishi. I was thoroughly confused and told him to honestly go about his business if he wasn't interested. In the end, he brought himself to the events but didn't bring kilishi. Walaahi...I almost passed out. I had to remind myself that woman must not live by kilishi alone. Some other guy told me that he would get some for me, so please pray with me that he will make my dream come true. #CrossingMyFingers
-Letter from a DESPERATE kilishi lover

Baby Shower A La Extreme

Last weekend was the workout I never expected. Lol. I danced so much that I can promise you I burnt at least 2000 calories! One of my uncles (not my real uncle, but I call every elder uncle) had a baby shower for his wife at a hall by his office.
By the way, I have to mention that this baby shower started at 6pm! My friend had to remind me that such isn't the norm. Lol! Only in Africa are all events classified as late night parties. I love my people sha! We got in by 8pm (Pure African Time). The hall had no A.C. As in...kpata kpata! My sister and I walked into a wave of heat, but embraced it with open arms. We had to remind ourselves to dare not forget that we come from the motherland and refused to act bougie at such a special event. I had a hunch before leaving my apartment to bring my hand fan and I was so glad that I followed it! It was ever necessary! My uncle kept on apologizing because he had two cooling units and a fan but they weren't enough to keep the room cool. We assured him that all would be fine.
The food was absolutely delicious, company was great and after a while the music moved us all to the dance floor. I told everyone that I would only engage in small shaking of the body, but #Gbedu was full blown that night! I wore a maxi dress that was made of a light cotton and after two hours of being there, I was drenched all throughout my body. I was competing on the dance floor with people, taking it down low and cautiously bringing it up (I've realized that my knees aren't as youthful as they used to be, but I must never let it show. Lol!) I was so embrassed at how sweaty I was but my girls made me feel better. They kept on saying that nobody could tell, but I knew it was pretty visible. I was just glad that it was evident that I was sweating so much because of no A.C and my continuous movement. I was even outside taking in some air and one man asked "Have you had enough?" Lol...I said "NO!". It was such an epic night and I'm so happy that we beat the heat, I even ended up having one dance partner at the end and we were both killing it!
My uncle was so glad that we could make it and thanked my crew and I for making the event a success. Congratulations to the happy couple on their upcoming arrival of their new bundle of joy!

This uncle said he must be in this photo by power by force

My girl Michelle took these photos very well. You can't 'really' see all the perspiration caused by the #EverlastingGbedu

Fried and jollof rice with goat meat never tasted this good! #Yummy

The mother-to-be with her mother and son

The mother-to-be and friends

The happy couple. They had been dancing so much, but had time for a quick picture

The cake was delicious!

Naija Party and Afro Caribbean Vibes

Yal, so...I'm just getting back from this club party. My crew and I are at it again; 2 parties in 1 night! #Mercy. If you know me well, you'll know that I 'rarely' ever go out to the club (only when I'm out of town to meet bobos because where I live is lame!) The night started off at an uncle's wife's graduation party not too far from my apt. We stayed there for about 2 hours and had to bless the dance floor before we exited of course. Some of my 'former friends' were there and one of them tried to act as if we're cool. But...why??? He offered me a drink at the party and I gladly refused (if you would like to hear the full story of why we are no longer friends, leave a comment below). After that awkward display of whatever he wants to call it, I went about my business, ate a bit and had to say my goodbyes.
From there, we moved onto the second location which was a more upscale night club in town. An Afro-Caribbean party was taking place there and I had gotten in touch with the organizer. He asked me to help promote the party and of course yes I agreed. I know a good amount of Nigerians in the area, so that's no biggie for me. I had never met him before, but he sounded really sweet over the phone. He told me to text him when I got there so he could escort my friends and I inside. Lies he told! When we got there, the man wasn't even in sight. I texted him twice, got no response. I refused to get in contact with him again. As in...which kind thing be this? I did my part and invited a good amount of people to come out, now...why are you disgracing yourself? He almost spoilt my night, but I refused. As in...really though? Free work, no payment. He pleaded with me saying he was new in town and that my help will be highly appreciated. Liar liar! Oh well. He should never contact me again oh! My people and I just went inside and met up with the rest of the crew.
I had been told  by my hair braider that the particular DJ performing was quite disappointing, but I didn't believe her. The organizer sent me his playlist and let me know he was legit. Walaahi...he had like current Naija music! How in the world was I going to believe her? You guys!!! I should have listened to her. As in...he kept on talking over the music, changing songs when 'the beat' finally dropped and just being weird. I just thank God that he had a few Afrobeats music as promised. My crew and I "murdered the dance floor" like there was no tomorrow. We know how to have a good time no matter the situation at hand, so we still cut up.
I'm extremely light-headed, so I only had one drink. I finally tried an amaretto sour! It was absolutely delicious, but I can absolutely say that one was more than enough for me. After a little bit, my head was almost all over the place. I'm such a lightweight, it's embarrassing. Lol.
The night was okay. Honestly didn't get much play, but I know I was on point *dusts her shoulders and does the shoki*

Me and my new boo Michelle. I met her at a family friend's birthday dinner. She's from Houston and is the bomb.com. We were at the graduation party in this pic. After we destroyed the dance floor, I was sweating SO BADLY! As in...I wanted to take off my beautiful new wolf's cardigan, but I was trying to be conservative because of Nigerian elders.

Ify and Dan. We call him 'Dan The Man'. Dan comes to town every few months and is always super sweet to the ladies

Photo stolen from Danlami Mike on Facebook

At the club. The heels had to come off. The DJ was dulling in full effect.

I Got To Attend Essence Festival 2015

I'm so happy that I got to attend the Essence Festival 2015 concert on Saturday, July 4th! I went for the Expo for all three days in New Orleans, LA. On Friday, I met this guy and his friend while in line trying to take a photo at a booth. We chatted for a bit and went our separate ways. The following day, we saw each other again and he asked me if I was going to the concert. I told him that I didn't get a ticket, but that I was attending all days of the Expo. He asked me for my number. I gave it to him thinking that we were going to just to keep in touch. Later on that day, he sent me a text asking if I would be available to attend the concert with him for that night. I was like "Ogini?" I thought he was joking, but he was being ever so serious. I said YES!
I didn't have time to go home and change because traffic was insane, so I borrowed my sister's new cardigan which was really posh and cute (photo attached down below). I was relieved that I had my makeup in the car to touch up because it was a bit worn out. I met up with him at the concert and he escorted me in. We chatted for a bit as we walked up to the seats. I really wasn't feeling him that much after the short conversation, but I was going to give him a chance because he said that he had a crush on me and wanted to spend some time together before he left.
I thought he had some regular seats up above, but oh no! He had floor seats with very good views. I was like, who is this guy that was able to get me such seats last minute? I came to find out that he was an upcoming artist/ producer that a marketing company had flown in for the concert. They had given him an additional ticket for me. My head was swelling small. Lol. We had missed Common's performance, but we got to see Erykah Badu, Missy Elliot and Usher.
His friends that I had met earlier at the expo were already seated and were very nice. I actually had fun dancing and laughing with them all throughout the night. But, the guy though...I just was not feeling him cha cha. First off, his dress sense was very rough and his personal upkeep could have definitely been better. He had that rapper-esque style that I don't dig at all at all! Secondly, I had asked him what he had been up to all day and he openly mentioned 'smoking the weed'. I just couldn't deal! He then asked if I smoked, and I said "No...never". He in turn said that after hanging around him long enough, I will get high off what he and his friends smoke and eventually smoke with them. God forbid! I rebuked it immediately. That was such a turn-off! I just had to remind myself that I had to be grateful that I got such good seats out of a random act of kindness.
After the concert, I wanted to go home, while he and his friends wanted to go downtown. He told me that he really wanted me to join them. I told one of his friends earlier that I wasn't going to be able to make it downtown with them, and believe you me, I wasn't going to change my mind. It was obvious that his lifestyle didn't match mine and I wasn't sure where I would end up if I followed him downtown. I kindly declined the offer. He then asked if I wanted some company at home. I told him not to even worry about it because I would fall asleep and that would be rude. At this point I could tell he was upset. He was still nice enough to walk me to a cab and wished me a good night. We parted ways and that was that. Overall, I enjoyed the experience. They were a fun crowd to hang around with but it just would not have worked out between us.

Me and my wristbands

Missy Elliot killed it on stage! She was so enthusiastic and had the whole crowd jumping with her! I just didn't like that there were so many technical difficulties during her set. I was highly disappointed at Essence Festival's production team. It was Missy's first time performing for the festival and they should have been better prepared. They also cut off her set abruptly because they didn't want it running into the next performance. How rude!

Missy Elliott brought out one of her proteges (Sharaya J) and was the bomb.com on stage. It was my first time hearing of her and she was on point! Check out her performance below

 

Sharaya J- Banji (Essence Festival Performance 2015)

I am now the biggest Erykah Badu fan ever!!! This lady was phenomenal on stage (even the guy that got me tickets said he would marry him. I wasn't surprised). Her performance gave me chills! I wasn't really into her music, but always admired her style. She gave 100% energy on stage and her vocals were spot on!

I missed Common's performance #Booooo!!!!

So...I've never been a TRUE Usher fan. His performance was a bit lack luster for me and I found myself sitting down for most of it. Maybe age is catching up with him...I don't know. We left during his set. It just wasn't doing it for any of us.

Ify's Fitness Expo Invitation

If you don't know by now, Ify is my immediate younger bush baby sister. I am with this girl almost 24/7 and she hates it. Lol. I know she loves it deep down inside, if not... then too bad. It's the card life has dealt her and I love it!

 Ify is highly fitness-oriented. She lost a lot of weight within the past two years and I'm extremely proud of her. She got invited for a second time to host a booth at The Lousiana Fit Chicks Expo in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and she dragged me along. I don't think I have mentioned it here, but if you know me very well, then you know I do not like exercise or working out cha cha! 

As in, this girl has been trying to drag me along to work out with her for the longest time and I have only gone once with her in my lifetime. That day, I thoroughly embarrassed myself in the gym. After that, I ran away and hide from her whenever she's about to hit that dungeon. I just no get that kind physical energy. If something looks, sounds or feels heavy, I'm off to the left. Lol, but it's so true! I wear workout clothes because they look good and I give off the feel that I'm athletic. Lol. People always laugh at me because they think I have a workout regime until I tell them the truth. For where? I laugh with them jare!

 I had a blast yet again at the Expo with her and her friend (Marie). Ify had a few prizes at her table and the attendees loved it. They had to do various workout moves to get a prize (I can't believe I didn't get a picture of the table). She had protein bars, bags, workout shorts, training packages etc. There was a squat challenge for the main giveaway which was a basket filled with a lot of pre and post workout goodies. Boy oh boy, this was the most popular challenge of the day! Everyone wanted to win that basket, but it was left down to two ladies who kept on squatting their lives away! As in, they did over 100 squats! The winner of the squat challenge scared me from the moment she came in. She was so built and muscular. As in, na babe that no man or woman should NEVER dare to mess with or it will be over. She was a sweetheart, but she was damn strong! 

Overall, it was a great experience and I thoroughly enjoyed supporting Ify yet again!

Ify and I posing like we know we're cute and you can't tell us otherwise

Ify and attendee doing burpees for her table prizes

The winner of the squat challenge and runner-up with Ify and a guy from GNC fitness

Fitness trainer teaching a hip-hop course

Acting out with the girls like always

Fitness trainer teaching a fitness workout