Yesterday, I sat down with two people whom I once knew to be my true friends during a certain point in time. One's a guy and the other's a girl. We had a falling out over three months ago and just began speaking recently. I asked to meet up with them because I wanted us to hash out our differences and have a fresh start for the beginning of our new chapter together.
I did this because I noticed that the guy actually began to make an effort by acknowledging me at gatherings and events in our Nigerian community. He would greet and hug me whenever he saw me. I was initially quite resistant, but later appreciated his continuous effort. The girl on the other hand didn't. She would just walk by and say nothing at all whenever we saw.
We all started talking again because her birthday was near approaching and I wanted to get her a gift. She had given me a gift on my birthday last year, so I had to return the favor. I just thought that was the right thing to do. I got her a makeup goody bag and she loved it. She couldn't even believe that I bought her a gift since we hadn't spoken in such a long time. Ever since then, we have been staying in touch with one another.
I thank God for the conversation we had because we were able to clear the air after our discussion. I was angry and highly disappointed with them because they were very discreet when I was planning a joint birthday party for my sister and our mutual friend earlier on this year. The day that I needed them to help me out the most was the day they literally abandoned me. They came super late to the event and acted as if they had the right to do as they pleased. I was furious at the event and chose to completely disregard them. People who I had faith in and considered family became strangers in a matter of seconds.
I realized during our meeting that the main issue with a lot of relationships and friendships is a lack of communication. They said that there were several things during the planning process that were lost in translation on the event day. They weren't sure of what to do or how to help. I found that odd because I had expressed myself thoroughly to all prior to the event celebration and didn't want to step on any toes. They thought that I was taking the planning too seriously and I didn't want to offend anyone else. Instead, they said that they were looking for more of a sense of direction that I didn't properly offer. Nawa oh! Boy was I shocked? Hadn't I tried to do that before? Didn't they have multiple issues with it? Ok oh. I was still glad that I was able to hear their point of views.
After our conversation, everything kind of fell back into place. We began gisting as usual and even began planning our next trip. It was a good night and I'm happy that we're working on rebuilding our friendship. It may be hard to fully trust them immediately, but I will take each day one step at a time.
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