I Fell for A Married Man

I almost forgot to upload a post today, but the good Lord saved me. I got carried away because I'm helping a friend with flyers for his business and I cooked a bunch of food, but anyways...moving on. Let's giddy!
My people oh!!! Come see wahala. The devil is a liar. Your girl fell for a married man. Tufiakwa! So...here is how the story goes. My friends and I went out of town for a 'girls weekend'. We turned up for real and had an absolute blast. Whoop whoop! We went to a night club that one of my friends had recommended. He kept on introducing me to different people that night and wanted to get my name out to some people in the promoting/ entertainment business out there. What a sweetheart! We were on the way out when he introduced me to this one guy. I joked around with him for a bit before he offered me a seat, suya and drinks. My friends and I liked his vibe and we definitely reconsidered our exit from the club. We exchanged numbers. He was a darling all night long and told us that next time we came into town, we should let him know.
The next morning, one of my friends who was super drunk from the night before had something to tell me. I was all ears. She said that the man we met from last night had asked her about me and she told him that I was single. She then said that he told her that he would have hit on me if he wasn't married. I didn't have any feelings for the guy. I only saw him as a friend, so I had no worries right? Little did I know what was to come. Lol. Make I continue joor.
Some over-sabis would say I was looking for trouble, but just pay attention first. I'm not a home wrecker, ashawo, side chick, main bitch, left or right chick or husband snatcher! We didn't speak so much on the phone, but when we did, we engaged in conversations in a very paddy-like manner. We were quite local when engaging in conversations.  I was very careful when I spoke to this man and clearly respected my boundaries. After a while, my friends and I had established a "friendship" with him. We all spoke with him and referred to him as a brother.
I did just as he said, I let him know the next time we were in town. Before we were all about to go out, my friend said she wanted to bring something to my attention again. I was open to listen to whatever she was about to say. What would be so important to discuss on this trip now? She said that she honestly wasn't sure if that man was married anymore. I was surprised. I had never brought up this topic with him. As I said, we rarely spoke on the phone and he never mentioned that he was married. I was confused. She said that the night that we met him, another man had also come up to her asking about my relationship status. She reminded me that she was highly intoxicated that night and she didn't think that the guy we now all took as a "brother" was the married one. None of us saw a ring on his either of his hands and he clearly didn't act married. I was surprised, but believed her because she was very drunk that night.
After a few days during our trip, we were supposed to meet up with this man at a club. All of a sudden, I found myself developing feelings for him earlier that day. My people come see wahala! How am I falling for my brother? I began to consider a number of things. He was extra caring when it came to me, helped me get out of a stank mood the day before and for some reason I began to see him being a part of my future. Don't ask me what happened, but I did a whole 360 degrees shake around him. My sister and friends were ecstatic for me. They wanted to see a relationship between this guy and I work at all costs. We were very happy to see him when we went out. We had a great time that night and I even flirted a little with him. I didn't want to seem too forward nah!
I was so angry when our trip was over because I enjoyed being out of my city and I wanted to spend more time with him. We texted a few times but I didn't get a chance to talk to him on the phone since I had been back. My sister told me to call him, I was skeptical about it. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying too hard. I did though, but he didn't pick up. I was sad. I ended up going to a housewarming and found myself talking about him to my other girlfriends. They kept on telling me to call him. I was so damn shy! I was literally getting butterflies in my stomach from talking about him. As we were talking about him, he called back. I was so nervous, I couldn't answer the phone. One of my friends tried to answer the phone, but didn't know how to use it because it was connected to the bluetooth. Lol. I was WAY too shy to call him back, so I let my friend text him for me because I wasn't even bold enough to do that. He had gone out with his friends, so his responses were inconsistent. My friend told me to call him tomorrow. They all told me to make sure that this man wasn't married before I fell deeply for him as my body dry shake already. Too late!
The next day he responded. He apologized for not being able to respond to the last text that I had sent. I called him a few hours later when I woke up from my nap. We talked for two hours! Boy was i happy! That was the longest time that we have ever been on the phone, even he was surprised. We were stylishly flirting, talking about our lives, the next time I was going to come into town etc. I was blushing oh! We were learning so much about each other. Out of nowhere, the blue moon, the random backyard bush, mama put's kitchen!!! He blurted out "You know that I'm married right?" Walaahi, I almost lost it. Omo see disappointment! My friends had warned me. I told him "No, you did not. That's cute." I asked him a few questions and he answered them. He told me that he had been married for three years. Omo, see slap in the face! He never thought that he would marry a Nigerian, but he ended up marrying an Igbo woman. The fear wey catch me was like no other! Igbo woman in wrapper, dibia and curses coming upon me was all I could think of.
We finished off our conversation, but I wasn't disrespectful and didn't cut him off. Some of you may be like "Babe, you should have cussed him out and made him go chat with his wife", but I couldn't do that. As I stated earlier, apart from being attracted to each other, I was building a different bond with him that involved other people. My sister and friends had a family-like relationship with him. We had known him for a short time, but we grew to appreciate one another and had become a apart of each other's lives in a very odd manner that you wouldn't expect. I don't even know how to explain it. I was just thankful that none of us verbally came out and said that "we liked each other". We flirted in a subtle but yet apparent manner, but no one was aggressive when trying to get their point across.
I don't fall easily for guys all the time, but when I do, I fall hard! It's so embarrassing! My sister is embarrassed for me. Lol. I now have to work on getting over him over the next few weeks and embracing my reality. He is a married man and I have to accept the fact that nothing can ever happen between us. He was almost the perfect man, but, is there really any such thing? I should have known something was wrong. It sucks, but I'm not a home wrecker, ashawo, side chick, main bitch, left or right chick or husband snatcher! Make I go chop jare. Pray for your sister.

The Art Of Gift Giving

I don't know about yal, but I love my birthday!!! I love my birthday to the point that I want it to be a national holiday one day. Won't yal just love that? An extra day to kick it back at home and celebrate Nikolai? Lol. You should be grateful and thank God for every extra year you get to see because some people don't always make it to the next.
I have always been a firm believer of the art of gift giving. I give gifts that are actually related to someone's likes, preferences and wants. I study people's personalities to know what kind of a gift to give. I give gifts that 'actually' make sense! They are beneficial to each individual depending on what I have learnt about them before their birthday. The worst thing to do is spend money on a gift that someone won't like and they keep it stored in the back of their closet and mind.
My birthday is coming up in the month of December and people have already started giving me gifts. They've been asking me what I want and I find myself actually knowing what I want for the first time in years. One of my very close friends at this time asked me what I wanted. There were two shoes I saw online and even managed to get an awesome coupon code for them. I told her exactly what I wanted and provided the link. She told me would get it. She was having issues logging into the website from her phone, so she said she would place the order from her laptop.
A few days had passed and we were at a housewarming event. She told me that she still couldn't log into the website from her phone. I was in the process of trying to help her when she told me that I could only pick one of the shoes. To God who made me, I was taken aback. I looked at her and told her she was kidding because I just couldn't fathom the idea that she was being serious. Out of all the gifts I want this year for my birthday, I gave her the CHEAPEST one to buy! In my head, I was seriously wondering how much she thought I spent on her birthday gifts. I'm not trying to be ungrateful or insensitive, but common! I carefully selected gifts based on what I knew she wanted and needed to develop skills in. She didn't even know I was getting her a gift because I barely knew her before her birthday came up. Now, she asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told her and she was practically forcing me to choose one. Wtf? I LITERALLY gave the CHEAPEST of all gifts to get me and she has a problem??? Nna men....I hate that shit. I won't even bring it up again because it's pointless. You may think "Oh, maybe she is going through financial matters", but that clearly isn't the case in this matter as she has been spending her cash money and telling me about it. A 'true friend' should never do that to another friend.
Anyways...I really think that I have finally learnt my lesson. People always tell me that I give very good gifts that I won't receive back, but I take people's birthdays very seriously. It is a moment that will be remembered forever and I feel that I should do whatever I can to make it memorable. Listen to me NOW when I say that I will no longer combine gifts for people. I will give one gift at a moderate price starting from today. There is only one girl who has ever given me multiple sentimental gifts on my birthday because she tries to keep gift giving fun. I will keep my bond with her that way, but for others, no more. I have received enough insult from the gifts I have received and I don't need anymore. Good riddance amigos!

Guess Who's Back???

Hey bees!
I'm back!!! I have definitely been going through an emotional rollercoaster these past few months and have honestly had several moments when I wanted to just throw in the towel. I just wanted to give up sometimes because I felt that there's no point to continue. It sounds sad, humiliating and shocking, but I need to be truthful and pour my heart out. My love life, personal relationships and daily behavior has been an absolute mess. I can't tell the man I have developed feelings for that I like him because I'm afraid it will affect our friendship. I am constantly reminded that "true friends" are hard to find and I need to work on my finding ways to better myself as a human being.
It's funny how someone can look a certain way on the exterior, but feel completely different in the interior. I almost feel as if I have been living a lie and painting a false image of who I am to people. It's time for a change. I've giving up on living a lie.
I was praying earlier today and I thought for a sec "What ever happened to my blog?" "What ever happened to the real me?" "Am I just a weakling?" I have been asking God for a sign and I think he is trying to show me what I have been depriving myself of; true happiness, personal goals/ objectives and a peaceful state of mind. It has to stop. I have to stop.
Over the next few weeks, I'm going to continue to share my life experiences with you all as I did in the past while focusing on my thoughts, emotions and real life happenings. Hopefully with me being more open with you guys, you will be more comfortable with me to ask questions related to my daily experiences. I'm going to try and write a post everyday this week. #7DayChallenge. Yal deserve it, I deserve it. I am no longer afraid.