Letter to Debo

Never in my life did I think it would be this hard to get over you
You came into my life and swept me off my feet
I couldn't believe it
So I chose to ignore it in the beginning
We only met a few times
But I felt as though we connected on a different level I hadn't experienced before
Believe it or not, I couldn't stop talking about you
It was unreal and I couldn't understand why
The way you called my name
The cars you sent me
Your condo
Our jokes
And even your Ray Ban glasses, which I found extremely cute
But most importantly, the way you made me feel
All these things were nice, but it couldn't make up for my time with you
From the first day I met you, I fell for you

People say it was just a materialistic fling, but it was more than that with you
They called you my Mr. Grey
I called your my Mr. Stay
I patiently waited for the day that I would be called your girlfriend
We had our ups and downs but I still felt you were mine
Nothing was going to stop that
You tried to rush into sex
But, I wanted more than that
I wanted us to evolve together
To build a future together
That day never came

My family and friends told me that you weren't good for me
They saw me cry, hurt and depressed when you wouldn't treat me right
I would still cover for you
Make a hundred and one excuses because I didn't want you to slip away
I gave you chance after chance, until I couldn't anymore

I now find out through my sister that you're seeing one of my friends
But you have no idea
You met her at a party I was supposed to attend when I left town for a wedding
She doesn't know about us
What we had before you brought her into your life
She talks to my sister about you constantly
She's fallen for you just as I had
And she still doesn't know about us
I can't bring myself to tell her
How do you think that makes me feel?
All that keeps racing through my mind is what would have happened if I was there
Would we have been back together?
Day after day, I ask myself this

This is one of the hardest issues I've ever had to face in my life
That's why I decided to write you this letter
I have to set myself free from you
I need to get you out of my thoughts, dreams and entire being
You have consumed my life
I barely do a thing because I'm still so focused on us and what should have been
I talk about you to others as if I'm obsessed with you
They've listened to me multiple times and have tried to help me
They no longer know what to do
It's been three weeks
You haven't texted or called
I guess I'm pretty irrelevant in your life now right?

I can't keep on beating myself down anymore
So, I have to help myself
I have to let go
I have to erase you from my mind completely so I can move on
But, what hurts the most
Is that you never knew
This is how I truly felt about you

If I would have spread my legs, would you still be mine?

Debo