If there is one thing I have learnt in my 23 years of living, it is to limit the amount of favors I ask for. The smallest favor could be turned into the biggest matter in the world. Those you consider your friends and family can deal with you within the glimpse of an eye. They will be quick to turn on you for a favor. They will find every reason to suggest that what your asking for is beyond their means and make up the most ridiculous excuses. You sef will begin to wonder if what you're asking for help for is a rocket to reach Saturn.
Even though I use the term 'friend' loosely, a lot of people I associate with are my 'acquaintances'. We will go out, we will jolly, but they will still remain an acquaintance. A true friend is a gift from God. A lot of people love to see you beg, plead and ask for favors and assistance in this world. It butters them up to know that others have a certain need and requirement for their help and will use it to their advantage. I advise you all to always shine in whatever it is your heart tells you to do and follow your dreams. Try to keep pushing as far as you can before you open your mouth and ask one single human for a favor. At times, we think certain things are unattainable, when we are just to blind to see the unlocked door of opportunities staring at us and waiting for it's knob to be turned.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Rebuilding Friendships and Moving Forward
Yesterday, I sat down with two people whom I once knew to be my true friends during a certain point in time. One's a guy and the other's a girl. We had a falling out over three months ago and just began speaking recently. I asked to meet up with them because I wanted us to hash out our differences and have a fresh start for the beginning of our new chapter together.
I did this because I noticed that the guy actually began to make an effort by acknowledging me at gatherings and events in our Nigerian community. He would greet and hug me whenever he saw me. I was initially quite resistant, but later appreciated his continuous effort. The girl on the other hand didn't. She would just walk by and say nothing at all whenever we saw.
We all started talking again because her birthday was near approaching and I wanted to get her a gift. She had given me a gift on my birthday last year, so I had to return the favor. I just thought that was the right thing to do. I got her a makeup goody bag and she loved it. She couldn't even believe that I bought her a gift since we hadn't spoken in such a long time. Ever since then, we have been staying in touch with one another.
I thank God for the conversation we had because we were able to clear the air after our discussion. I was angry and highly disappointed with them because they were very discreet when I was planning a joint birthday party for my sister and our mutual friend earlier on this year. The day that I needed them to help me out the most was the day they literally abandoned me. They came super late to the event and acted as if they had the right to do as they pleased. I was furious at the event and chose to completely disregard them. People who I had faith in and considered family became strangers in a matter of seconds.
I realized during our meeting that the main issue with a lot of relationships and friendships is a lack of communication. They said that there were several things during the planning process that were lost in translation on the event day. They weren't sure of what to do or how to help. I found that odd because I had expressed myself thoroughly to all prior to the event celebration and didn't want to step on any toes. They thought that I was taking the planning too seriously and I didn't want to offend anyone else. Instead, they said that they were looking for more of a sense of direction that I didn't properly offer. Nawa oh! Boy was I shocked? Hadn't I tried to do that before? Didn't they have multiple issues with it? Ok oh. I was still glad that I was able to hear their point of views.
After our conversation, everything kind of fell back into place. We began gisting as usual and even began planning our next trip. It was a good night and I'm happy that we're working on rebuilding our friendship. It may be hard to fully trust them immediately, but I will take each day one step at a time.
I did this because I noticed that the guy actually began to make an effort by acknowledging me at gatherings and events in our Nigerian community. He would greet and hug me whenever he saw me. I was initially quite resistant, but later appreciated his continuous effort. The girl on the other hand didn't. She would just walk by and say nothing at all whenever we saw.
We all started talking again because her birthday was near approaching and I wanted to get her a gift. She had given me a gift on my birthday last year, so I had to return the favor. I just thought that was the right thing to do. I got her a makeup goody bag and she loved it. She couldn't even believe that I bought her a gift since we hadn't spoken in such a long time. Ever since then, we have been staying in touch with one another.
I thank God for the conversation we had because we were able to clear the air after our discussion. I was angry and highly disappointed with them because they were very discreet when I was planning a joint birthday party for my sister and our mutual friend earlier on this year. The day that I needed them to help me out the most was the day they literally abandoned me. They came super late to the event and acted as if they had the right to do as they pleased. I was furious at the event and chose to completely disregard them. People who I had faith in and considered family became strangers in a matter of seconds.
I realized during our meeting that the main issue with a lot of relationships and friendships is a lack of communication. They said that there were several things during the planning process that were lost in translation on the event day. They weren't sure of what to do or how to help. I found that odd because I had expressed myself thoroughly to all prior to the event celebration and didn't want to step on any toes. They thought that I was taking the planning too seriously and I didn't want to offend anyone else. Instead, they said that they were looking for more of a sense of direction that I didn't properly offer. Nawa oh! Boy was I shocked? Hadn't I tried to do that before? Didn't they have multiple issues with it? Ok oh. I was still glad that I was able to hear their point of views.
After our conversation, everything kind of fell back into place. We began gisting as usual and even began planning our next trip. It was a good night and I'm happy that we're working on rebuilding our friendship. It may be hard to fully trust them immediately, but I will take each day one step at a time.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Retail Theraphy
So...there was this guy that I was talking to for a while but we have parted ways. I took a liking to him immediately, but I can see now that we are on two completely different pages. Ever since we stopped talking, I find myself buying things at any chance I get. Online shopping is the worst! As in...one minute I'm browsing, the next, something is in my shopping cart. The next, my debit card gets pulled out and I have purchased numerous products! I stare as my card is constantly being swiped or my fingers punching in its digits on a computer like I'm some sort of money machine.
The worst part is I don't even have money like that, but I'm just continuously spending. For some reason, I feel that the items I'm purchasing are necessities and I need them now or never. I've had this shopping problem before in the past, but it has never been this bad. I haven't experienced it like this in a very long while. I think I'm using this to escape the current situation I'm in called 'my reality'. The only wahala is that I don't think its working. I've began to try my best to keep the guy off my mind and focus on the business of buying and selling. Hahaha..Buying and selling ke? Na just buying I dey succeed in.
Thank God for return policies! I'm going to go through the items that I've bought and try to return some back. I think I'll keep the groceries. If you see the madness that has been my life recently, you won't even believe I'm normal. I'm even too scared to look at my current account balance. #ShameOnMe. My retail therapy has definitely helped keep me occupied and almost cleared out my bank account. God forbid bad thing! I need to get a grip of myself. I am turning a new leaf today my brothers and sisters.
The worst part is I don't even have money like that, but I'm just continuously spending. For some reason, I feel that the items I'm purchasing are necessities and I need them now or never. I've had this shopping problem before in the past, but it has never been this bad. I haven't experienced it like this in a very long while. I think I'm using this to escape the current situation I'm in called 'my reality'. The only wahala is that I don't think its working. I've began to try my best to keep the guy off my mind and focus on the business of buying and selling. Hahaha..Buying and selling ke? Na just buying I dey succeed in.
Thank God for return policies! I'm going to go through the items that I've bought and try to return some back. I think I'll keep the groceries. If you see the madness that has been my life recently, you won't even believe I'm normal. I'm even too scared to look at my current account balance. #ShameOnMe. My retail therapy has definitely helped keep me occupied and almost cleared out my bank account. God forbid bad thing! I need to get a grip of myself. I am turning a new leaf today my brothers and sisters.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Letter to Debo
Never in my life did I think it would be this hard to get over you
You came into my life and swept me off my feet
I couldn't believe it
So I chose to ignore it in the beginning
We only met a few times
But I felt as though we connected on a different level I hadn't experienced before
Believe it or not, I couldn't stop talking about you
It was unreal and I couldn't understand why
The way you called my name
The cars you sent me
Your condo
Our jokes
And even your Ray Ban glasses, which I found extremely cute
But most importantly, the way you made me feel
All these things were nice, but it couldn't make up for my time with you
From the first day I met you, I fell for you
People say it was just a materialistic fling, but it was more than that with you
They called you my Mr. Grey
I called your my Mr. Stay
I patiently waited for the day that I would be called your girlfriend
We had our ups and downs but I still felt you were mine
Nothing was going to stop that
You tried to rush into sex
But, I wanted more than that
I wanted us to evolve together
To build a future together
That day never came
My family and friends told me that you weren't good for me
They saw me cry, hurt and depressed when you wouldn't treat me right
I would still cover for you
Make a hundred and one excuses because I didn't want you to slip away
I gave you chance after chance, until I couldn't anymore
I now find out through my sister that you're seeing one of my friends
But you have no idea
You met her at a party I was supposed to attend when I left town for a wedding
She doesn't know about us
What we had before you brought her into your life
She talks to my sister about you constantly
She's fallen for you just as I had
And she still doesn't know about us
I can't bring myself to tell her
How do you think that makes me feel?
All that keeps racing through my mind is what would have happened if I was there
Would we have been back together?
Day after day, I ask myself this
This is one of the hardest issues I've ever had to face in my life
That's why I decided to write you this letter
I have to set myself free from you
I need to get you out of my thoughts, dreams and entire being
You have consumed my life
I barely do a thing because I'm still so focused on us and what should have been
I talk about you to others as if I'm obsessed with you
They've listened to me multiple times and have tried to help me
They no longer know what to do
It's been three weeks
You haven't texted or called
I guess I'm pretty irrelevant in your life now right?
I can't keep on beating myself down anymore
So, I have to help myself
I have to let go
I have to erase you from my mind completely so I can move on
But, what hurts the most
Is that you never knew
This is how I truly felt about you
If I would have spread my legs, would you still be mine?
Debo
You came into my life and swept me off my feet
I couldn't believe it
So I chose to ignore it in the beginning
We only met a few times
But I felt as though we connected on a different level I hadn't experienced before
Believe it or not, I couldn't stop talking about you
It was unreal and I couldn't understand why
The way you called my name
The cars you sent me
Your condo
Our jokes
And even your Ray Ban glasses, which I found extremely cute
But most importantly, the way you made me feel
All these things were nice, but it couldn't make up for my time with you
From the first day I met you, I fell for you
People say it was just a materialistic fling, but it was more than that with you
They called you my Mr. Grey
I called your my Mr. Stay
I patiently waited for the day that I would be called your girlfriend
We had our ups and downs but I still felt you were mine
Nothing was going to stop that
You tried to rush into sex
But, I wanted more than that
I wanted us to evolve together
To build a future together
That day never came
My family and friends told me that you weren't good for me
They saw me cry, hurt and depressed when you wouldn't treat me right
I would still cover for you
Make a hundred and one excuses because I didn't want you to slip away
I gave you chance after chance, until I couldn't anymore
I now find out through my sister that you're seeing one of my friends
But you have no idea
You met her at a party I was supposed to attend when I left town for a wedding
She doesn't know about us
What we had before you brought her into your life
She talks to my sister about you constantly
She's fallen for you just as I had
And she still doesn't know about us
I can't bring myself to tell her
How do you think that makes me feel?
All that keeps racing through my mind is what would have happened if I was there
Would we have been back together?
Day after day, I ask myself this
This is one of the hardest issues I've ever had to face in my life
That's why I decided to write you this letter
I have to set myself free from you
I need to get you out of my thoughts, dreams and entire being
You have consumed my life
I barely do a thing because I'm still so focused on us and what should have been
I talk about you to others as if I'm obsessed with you
They've listened to me multiple times and have tried to help me
They no longer know what to do
It's been three weeks
You haven't texted or called
I guess I'm pretty irrelevant in your life now right?
I can't keep on beating myself down anymore
So, I have to help myself
I have to let go
I have to erase you from my mind completely so I can move on
But, what hurts the most
Is that you never knew
This is how I truly felt about you
If I would have spread my legs, would you still be mine?
Debo
Monday, August 10, 2015
I'm Now An Aunty!!!
One of my best friends (Cristal) finally popped on Saturday August 8th!!! She gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl called Majesti! This was her first pregnancy, so it was definitely an emotional, stressful and beautiful experience. Her due date was supposed to be September 4th, but she had to go through an emergency C-section due to their health.
I was incredibly sad that I missed her baby shower on August 2nd because I was out of town for a wedding. I made sure to send my gifts in advance though and she loved all of them. She had pre-opened them before the shower, but she reopened them again for the full effect. Lol.
I was incredibly sad that I missed her baby shower on August 2nd because I was out of town for a wedding. I made sure to send my gifts in advance though and she loved all of them. She had pre-opened them before the shower, but she reopened them again for the full effect. Lol.
Cristal at her baby shower
She made that gorgeous tutu! We both love tutus!!!
Cristal looking at Majesti for the very first time. She used the zebra wrap which was one of my gifts!
Princess Majesti
Summer Movement
You guys!!!!
I have been so damn lazy...it's unbelievable. I have been waking up these past few weeks, forgetting to pray, not dedicating proper time to write and ignoring this my blog #Shameful. I have definitely been busy this summer oh and I must update una.
The Nigerian community where I stay isn't very large, but we always enjoy spending time with each other (especially during this summer). Some of the Nigerians were either shy, too pompous or just out of character in the past. This summer has brought all of us together and we find ourselves doing something almost every week together.
We also have started an uncontrollable selfie madness addiction that has become the highlight of our gatherings. We look for where in the room we can possibly get the best #Light and take over 100 photos. Lol. It sounds absolutely ridiculous. Even our phone memories can't take it anymore. Here are a few photos from our escapades.
I have been so damn lazy...it's unbelievable. I have been waking up these past few weeks, forgetting to pray, not dedicating proper time to write and ignoring this my blog #Shameful. I have definitely been busy this summer oh and I must update una.
The Nigerian community where I stay isn't very large, but we always enjoy spending time with each other (especially during this summer). Some of the Nigerians were either shy, too pompous or just out of character in the past. This summer has brought all of us together and we find ourselves doing something almost every week together.
We also have started an uncontrollable selfie madness addiction that has become the highlight of our gatherings. We look for where in the room we can possibly get the best #Light and take over 100 photos. Lol. It sounds absolutely ridiculous. Even our phone memories can't take it anymore. Here are a few photos from our escapades.
Birthday Party- Petrus' House Party
My sister and I got a bunch of people together for Petrus' birthday party. I played DJ of the night with my Bluetooth speaker and playlist. This was when the selfie madness started. We found one lamp like that in his place and just couldn't stop posing. Lights, camera, action biko!
Birthday Party- Kazi's Pajama Party
After we had such a blast at Petrus' house for his birthday, Kazi wanted to have another night of madness for his birthday. I came up with the idea that it should be a pajama party. Some of us dressed appropriately for the occasion, while others *cough cough*. They ordered a bunch more food this time around and we even had goat pepper soup #Winning
Birthday Outing- Precious and Aminat's Movie Night
I'm really not a movie person at all! But, I had to make an exception for the celebrants. They wanted to watch Mission Impossible. I was surprised that I actually stayed awake for most of it. I fell asleep towards the end. No one wants to tell me what happened because they say I was too lazy to stay awake. Lol.
My sister took a photo of me sleeping. We were already loud in the movie theater (being Nigerians of course) and she was acting out. One man couldn't tolerate it anymore and started yelling. It was funny, but we took this as a note to respect ourselves in public some more.
Walaahi, I thought we would be slapped!
Girls Night Out
Some of the crew went to New Jersey for the Umu Igbo Unite Convention. I don't know how, but I completely forgot about this convention. I had been looking forward to it since the beginning of the year and it just slipped my mind because I had planned to go on another trip (photos coming soon). Anyways...those that went kept on updating us with pictures and stories on our group chat.
Due to jealousy (lol), the girls and I decided to go out to a reggae club. I love reggae clubs so I was down. We were there for two hours and some girls couldn't take the smell of the ganja anymore. I don't smoke, but I'm quite used to it in clubs. Some of them even started choking, so that was the hint to say bye bye! We had a blast though.
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